It's okay to be a bitch sometimes. It's okay to cry if you are upset. It's okay to say no. It's okay to draw a line in the sand. It's okay to think of your feelings first. It's okay to be strong. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to be sexual. It's okay to be "too much". It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to be sensitive. It's okay to be decisive. It's okay to say 'stop it, don't talk to me like that'. It's okay to leave. It's okay not to fix it. It's okay to not apologize if you don't feel like you've done anything wrong. It's okay to stop monitoring yourself. It's okay to take charge. And it's also okay to do the exact opposite of all of those things if that's what you're feeling.Read More
I teach a couple of college courses, which have been my delight and pleasure over the past couple of years: Men and Masculinity and Queer Theory. Without getting all academic, I'll say they both challenge students (and myself) to rethink what it means to be masculine, feminine, gay, straight, bi, lesbian, male, female and transgendered.
I feel like I've done my job if students walk away with a less static conception of gender and sexuality, which happens more often than not, and while sometimes cognitively upsetting to some students in the beginning ends up being infinitely freeing.
However, most people I encounter on a daily basis (dare I say more men than women) are stuck in rigid gender and sexuality roles that limit the expression of the full range of their energy, not because they choose to be stuck that way, but because culture dictates what is acceptable and what is not.Read More